Favorite Shoe Winner Declared

With the voting enthusiasm petering out Dick Morris advises us to declare the contest over and announce a winner. It's contestant number ten with the light brown slingback heels with the cross stitch pattern. One explanation for its popularity may be due to the whimsical uplift pose of the right shoe. It's as if the shoe is telling us, "Come here big boy." Despite being currently occupied with his shilling for Republicans, Dick had time to sift through his substantial shoe fetish archives to give us some varied theories on the attraction of the female shoe:
1."Flugel (1930) described the phenomena where clothes could not only arose sexual interest but in themself symbolized the sex organs. The delicate parts of the shoe resemble to the shoe fetishist the anatomy of genitalia. The heel seems to represent the phallus and is an aspect oft favoured. The owner of the shoe is never seen as an entity from the shoe.
2. Do most men have a foot fetish? Probably not in the deviant form, but when the f-me shoes come out, something changes. F-me shoes do not tell the viewer that this girl is easy or a slut. The reveal as much as the imagination can allow, it is true, but that does not mean anyone is getting schtupped tonight. Ever see toe cleavage? Some f-me shoes have it. How tall is the heel? It can vary- sometimes a lot is too much and too much is not enough. In the vernacular, a f-me shoe is a stiletto. Black. Not always black, but usually so. This is perhaps one of the few things that you will know it when you see it. What f-me shoes do tell us males is that the girl thinks she is sexy and wants you to know it. It is sort of like a wink but more lasting. It is also a breath of sexuality and femininity carried by the lady. I imagine if you get close enough, you can smell the confidence in the air, the girlish polish that just says woman.
3. Let me propose the shoe fetish as an evolutionary adaptation. We’ll define a shoe fetish as follows: a person, usually male, can only become sexually aroused when shoes are involved in the sexual act. Mind you, I’m not an expert on the shoe fetish, so my definition may be inaccurate. But that need not stop me from doing a little evolutionary psychology here. Okay, here’s the hypothesis I pulled out of my rear. Long ago, some females began to wear primordial shoes. The newly evolved shoe-wearing gene was selected for, as females with leather booties were less likely to cut their feet and acquire a deadly infection. This prolonged lifespan set up a selective pressure to develop a shoe fetish among males. Males who became attracted to the booties would be at an advantage, as they would more likely impregnate the bootie women who in turn would be more likely to survive to take care of their sperm products.