Off Target With A Cup Of Joe?

After all that Sunday hoopla with Bobby Darin what should show up in my mailbox but a note from Joe. Evidently someone in the show me state showed Joe to a computer. However, his usual message of hope to the hopeless is short on compassion. Has Joe been bought out by the big box folks for $12 an hour? I don't know, but look closely at the photo of the store opening in St. Louis that Joe so easily defends. And do you really think, Ray, father of 14, knows what palaver means? I thought it was a dead body until I used my dictionary.
Dave,
I’ve got to confess I’ve been remiss. But awareness is nine-tenths of the journey to responsibility so I’m here to tell you that rectifying the vicissitudes of laxity is one disease to which I can apply an antidote. And therefore, forthwith, I propose to lay out for you and the entire readership comments that are designed as hypnologic missiles which upon direct strike will fortify whatever quadrants of human experience do not bolstering. Are we on the same page with this?

In just this spirit Ray B. of Tulsa writes to ask me:

Dear Joe,
While shopping for school supplies in Target the other day I noticed that there were a series of pseudo advertisements for products that, upon inquiry, turned out to be unavailable. When I inquired further to unearth the purpose of such a policy I was told in no uncertain terms that I was “barking up the wrong tree” and that, in the words of the store manager, “had oughta pay more attention to my own bizness.” Since at the time my “bizness” was gathering school supplies for myself, my fourteen children and my wife – all of whom including myself are elementary school students at the William Randolph Hearst school for advanced penmanship – I felt that the ad for free pens in exchange for a pledge to shop exclusively in the Target school supply area for the on-coming semester would have been squarely within the domain of my concern. Therefore, I do admit to raising a ruckus and after being told that I had raised up above my raisin’ was summarily ejected from the Target establishment and told to return never again, although the date of such return was not specified. I’m writing to you for advice since, in my opinion, I have been mistreated and otherwise treated quite unfairly.
Sincerely,
Ray B. of Tulsa, father of 14

Dear Ray B.,
I am not going to say how I know what I know but I do know that you are not who you say you are and that the whole issue of school supplies is nothing but a cheap ruse. Therefore, I’m going to have to concur with Mr. Manager from Target and target you as the recipient for the same advice, “Mind your own bizness.” And as far as your attendance at the William Randolph Hearst school of advanced penmanship, don’t make me laugh. I happen to have some very good idea about what their requirements for admission are and know that they do not pander to students who palaver indiscriminately and I see no other way to categorize yourself as but an indiscriminate palaverer.
Sorry I couldn’t be of more help,
Joey B. aka Joe B.