Monday, November 06, 2006

Top 6 Reasons That Baltimore Sucks

Yes, the inner harbor is very beautiful, but: 6. The Oriole fans (except my fellow teacher guy from the hotel) I encountered were boorishly stupid. (I don't mind good-natured sparring with other bb fans- but I got mostly, "Hey Yankees Suck." The point is I wasn't even wearing a Yankee cap, but a NY Black Yankees Cap, circa 1936, which has a completely different logo 5. There is a dearth of indie record stores and book stores 4. The better hotels and restaurants are overpriced 3. There is no such thing as a local pizza place, chinese restaurant, bodega or 99 cent store 2. The extremes of wealth and poverty are so great that there are 8 year old squeegie boys hustling for loose change. 1. Metered parking is in effect 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
The fudge factory song and dance was cute. I found this segment on youtube

25 comments:

Justin said...

I am sorry... I just can't agree.

6. Yes O's fans can be foolish. But hey Yankees are our bitter rivals. I do think we need a reality check though. I love my Black Yankees Cap!!

5. I love the fact that there ARE great music stores in Baltimore. I am a sound specialist for several house music DJ's! Baltimore actually houses several exsclusive distributors and record prod companies. So the prices are really great here.

4. Ok... I can't argue on this... Hotels here can be pricey. But everything else is more inexpensive than DC or NY. So you still come out saving a bundle.

3. Ok... Maria D's, Mama Lucias, Shanes, Never on Sunday, etc. They are here!! All located downtown. 99cent stores are freakin everywhere!!! Chinese... Baltimore has like 500 chinese spots!! Where were u???

2. What?? That's AMERICA. Baltimore does have a strange influx right now. But soon all the Blacks will be moved to the county, and the white/caucasians will have control of the city. Then you won't see the 8 yr old HUSTLERS! Sad... but true.

1. Metered Parking cuts off downtown @ 12am in most places, 6pm in some, and 24hr meters are very rare!! You can check online.. just google "metered parking in Baltimore!"

Sorry you had such a bad time. I happen to love Baltimore. It has much work to be done, but I don't think it's as bad as you make it sound. So much History and Promise. You just gotta BELIEVE!! LOLOL!

Peace,
Justin

Anonymous said...

Just moved to Baltimore for California since a "loved one" is in school here, and it is HELL ON EARTH.

The people are mean as fuck, there is shit to do, the blacks hate the whites, the whites hate the blacks (just look at the native Baltimorean's racist post, above), nobody gets along, there is crime everywhere and cops nowhere, murders and theft are routinely among the highest in the nation here.

This city is so fucking bad, I wouldn't send Satan here - it would be too cruel a punishment.

There are several good universities, but this is because they were built in the 1800's, which is the last time this city had anything nice going on for it - oh, except wait, it was still a fucking slave state then, so I take that back. It's NEVER had anything good going for it!

So, stay the hell away, and if you get into one of the good schools here (like Hopkins Med) GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. It's not worth it - no matter how highly-ranked the school is, stay away. Make them move the good schools (like Hopkins) to another state. There is nothing here but misery and the old guard's pitiful clinging to a "grander past" which is so fucking gone, it ain't ever rising from the ashes.

And the problems here have nothing to do with ethnic make-up (as all the racists whites will say it does) - it has to do with the disgusting, cliquey, segregated, economically stratified shit-hole people that have, evidently, ALWAYS lived here. The old rich whites here are some of the most disgusting people I've seen. And I'm an Anglo white Harvard grad, so go figure.

There are all kinds of cities with just as much and way more racial diversity than Baltimore - L.A. & New York come to mind - and in those cities, there is nowhere near the level of discomfort and tension between the people, and the level of coldness and aloofness you find Baltimoreans projecting towards you if you are an out-of-towner.

Leaving the airport last fall, it all became clear. There were souvenirs on sale in the BWI gift shop, where most states would have a happy/positive phrase or logo extolling the virtues of their city. You know what the Baltimore airport has? A tee-shirt that says "Leave Me Alone - I'm Crabby" - and that sums it up, folks.

So, take your good personality and your sense of happiness, and leave this shit-hole of a town alone - because that's exactly what they are - a bunch of crabby, bitter, pieces of shit, because they KNOW that their town has the worst fucking reputation in America, and there's nothing they can do about it. Except, maybe, stop being a bunch of crabby, bitter assholes & racists towards each other. But there's no sign of that happening anytime soon.

Pick any city in the world (most of which I've visited or lived in), and leave Baltimore to the fire. I lived in one of the poorest cities in the world for a year - Calcutta, where Mother Theresa spent her life saving the starving, the poor, the miserable - and even though the city smelled like a toilet bowl even in the airplane landing at the airport, even with heroin addicts sleeping in the street and more people than are packed into a Soylent Green movie - it was STILL BETTER THAN BALTIMORE!

I'd take Calcutta over Baltimore, any day of the week - I'd take Calcutta, the dirtiest city in the world, with sweet people (and sweet to foreigners) - over Baltimore, the city with the shittiest, meanest people in the world.

Cheers, Justin. Keep-up your racist comments - it's great how people like you prove just how utterly and permanently fucked your city is. Whites like you call blacks "animals", and that's exactly why they act like that towards you. You call me a fucking animal, and you bet I'll act like one towards you. Disgusting. You and your city and its people - disgusting. Put on your white hoods and drive the blacks out to the county areas. Sounds like a plan, you fucking low-life.

Harold said...

Right on Anonymous! It's hard to set "The Wire" in a healthy city, but even a broken clock is right twice a day, right?

Sadly the East Coast phenom of saying, "It's sad but true, blacks are poor" happens all the time. I'm in Philadelphia and it's the same here. Having lived in Baltimore the similarities are uncanny: dying rust belt with retro-rich white people, millions of poor blacks, and a few students thrown in as a buffer. Very interesting strata to observe.

I left Baltimore and am looking forward to getting out of Philly and trying somewhere new. I thought it would be better here. Boy was I wrong. (And don't go to Pittsburgh, ether. Or Cleveland. Or Detroit. Or Albany. Or...you get the idea.)

Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Ok, Baltimore is wonderful town people! We have alot of nice people here, and the only reason "anonymous" says it's full of assholes is because he's an asshole himself! Sure, there are crime ridden areas (as in almost EVERY city nowadays), but there are alot of beautiful areas to. And there isn't that much racism here either! I have never saw someone cheat someone out of something good because of their skin in this town! Sure, there may have been a lot of racist hicks here in 60's (obviously the last time you guys came here) but there no longer is today, infact, we're hick free! Thats all I have to say

Sargonarhes said...

Hey, I absolutely agree. Every time I go to Baltimore I come away with a bad taste in my mouth, and the feeling that I've just been screwed over on something. Been to Detroit, Cleveland, Columbus and Pittsburgh, and left feeling better about visiting those places than Baltimore.

The parking in Baltimore is the worst, with most parking costing $20 if you're there til around 12am. Pittsburgh I paid just $5 for the whole day, what a bargain.

Pittsburgh > Baltimore

Anonymous said...

Wow, you people are ignorant. The blogger and many posters never ventured beyond the Inner Harbor or the downtown business district. Baltimore has: a huge, vibrant music scene (both black and white and a combination thereof--Baltimore Club anyone?), an enormous arts community, great restaurants (of all types--tons of middle eastern, north african, asian, the best authentic dim sum, sushi, and better korean than I have seen in any other city, salvadoran, mexican.. on and on--oh wait, but in neighborhoods you tourists and students of course couldn't POSSIBLY visit, they're so UNSAFE!!), and tons of nightlife--a big club scene, live music, bars, after hours, etc.

Come here and don't act like a snob, a tourist, or a stuck up Hopkins student, and you may find out this is probably one of the coolest cities on the east coast. Yeah, it is like Philly a bit--hard to get to know, but really fascinating, with a great history and a lot of dynamic stuff going on.

I have NEVER visited a city for a few days and come to this kind of judgement about it, & I have been all over the world. How offensive, to believe you know a town because you stayed in some hotel in a tourist area. Would you do that in Rome, in LA, in New York? I HAVE spent time in LA and quite honestly I thought it sucked--but I heard enough people talking about the unseen parts of it that i gave it the benefit of the doubt & glad I did. Met cool people & saw cool out of the way places. If you travel with a fucking chip on your shoulder, you will always be miserable. Too bad for you...

Anonymous said...

I lived in and around Baltimore for almost 30 years now and yeah, it sucks. But you don't realize until you visit other cities and towns how bad it is. People I meet from other cities are always amazed at the terrible customer service they experience in Charm City, and it's true. No where else are people so indifferent or downright hostile when they are being paid to provide customer service. There is a quirkiness about Baltimore that I will miss (a little) but for the most part, it's an ignorant town with an inflated sense of itself. And yeah, it's got some interesting archetecture but for the most part, it's an ugly town with outdated infrastructure, you can't bike it, walk it or live it without fear of being run over or mugged or worse.

Anonymous said...

To the asshole from Harvard, fuck off. The crabby shirts? Novelty. In case you weren't aware, Maryland is somewhat known for crabs. You can take your pretentious bullshit elsewhere because, quite frankly, people like you are what makes ANY place suck. I didn't see anything racist in Justin's comment, he simply commented on the population trends, which are legitimate. You probably based all of your pompous opinions off of one day. Baltimore isn't the worst city in this country. Sure, it may not be perfect, but it definitely has a lot going for it.

Anonymous said...

I moved to Baltimore 4 years ago from Boston. Prior to that my wife and I lived in New Orleans and prior to that I lived in DC and Houston. We bought a house, had a child, and plan to make Baltimore our home for a while. However, I cannot say I like it here. It's a cruddy city. There's no charm in Charm City.

Mike said...

I've lived in DC my entire life and just started hanging out in Baltimore a couple years ago whn I met my girlfriend who works at JHU. I go to Baltimore almost every day and can almost say i live there.

I don't like the city at all, despite its few bright spots. It's a city of great contrast, with pockets of brilliance surrounded by neighborhoods of crime and ungliness.

In a little less than 2 years, my car's been broken into twice, it's been barfed on, I've been yelled at several times for not giving spare change (that I didn't have), my shoes have been spit on, a guy tried to get into my car while I was in it, my tires were deflated overnight, I've been surrounded and yellped at by a roving gang of motorcycle kids, had a bottle thrown at me while relaxing in a park with my girlfriend, been called "white ass"... most of this in what I'd call the better part of downtown (Charles & Saratoga area). Not ONE of these things has EVER happened to me in 30 years living in DC (and DC's not even supposed to be so great).

On the flip side, you've got good universities, a really good symphony orchestra, some nice restaurants and bars, a nice inner harbor, a few nice museums...

Basically, I think it's best to come here to enjoy the upside from time to time than to live in the glum all the time.

Once in a while, I feel like doing something to help the city... but I can't think what. Kinda hopeless...

Capter said...

Justin is a racist. He implies that 8-year old hustlers are only black. Everyone who has mentioned that Baltimore shares its worst aspects with every other US city is dead wrong. I've lived NYC, Boston, Omaha, DC, even Detroit and LA, and Baltimore is the only city in the world where you see this ridiculous tension between classes and races. It's all perpetuated by the attitudes, too. This ain't the nice place to be, although it's true, they do have the best crabs on the East Coast. Justin's last paragraph makes me sad at the ignorance of children.

Anonymous said...

You folks comparing Baltimore to other N.E. cities are deluded. Everything sucks up here. Snow on the ground for two months? The only thing keeping us here is indecision on our destination. Two southern cities were mentioned…Houston and New Orleans. Those are hell holes. We came from Nashville, a great place. I should be packing to get back there right now. As far as I'm concerned anything north of there is full of ugly women.

Anonymous said...

I cant agree more with Baltimore being the shit-hole town that it is! I'm from Western NY and i do a bit of traveling myself. Hmmm, where do i begin...lets start off with the distracted hotel attendant that told us we had to check in 2 hours later than check-in time because they "weren't ready." this allowing baltimore transportation to TOW OUR CAR leaving us a $272 fine to get the car back. At this point, NO ONE mentioned that you are not allowed to park on the street and PAY THE FUCKING MEETER between 4-6pm. Maybe that would have been a good time to let someone know?!?!Everywhere i look i get dirty looks and comments from literally EVERYONE! unless your eager to buy someones CD, or spit Rhymes with them on the corner of howard and Fayette...your a piece of shit. Boy will they make you feel that way, REAL FAST! take a look somewhere else, this city should burn down!

Anonymous said...

I moved to Baltimore from Seattle so I had a pretty high set of standards for what I expected from a city and I have been very pleasantly surprised. I have not had one rude experience with anybody in fact coming from the super awkward masses in the pacific northwest both my husband and I have found everybody' s friendliness refreshing. Baltimore definitely has its issues but it is also full of art and music. I think that all of the haters are people that would be better suited for the suburbs. And as far as racism, though definitely segregated everybody my husband works with is black (we are white but you probably figured that out when I told you we're from Seattle, which is the most segregated place I've ever been) and they were all welcoming and have become some of or best friends

Anonymous said...

I lived in Maryland all of my life. I cannot wait to move. Its not just baltimore, its really Maryland and the NE in general. Not everyone here is bad, I have met some real down to Earth people, but its as if people here go out of their way to make you miserable. I hear people say in California there is flakyness, people are stuck-up, its hard to make friends,etc. Its crazy that every person I have met from California has been really cool and open to me (a complete stranger). Visiting there was like going to paradise. I cannot wait to move there. In my entire adulthood here I have not made any real friends, just flakes and temporary associations (more flakiness). Materialistic nonsense and just abrasive trash. The dating scene has been horrible for me. Ive never been screwed over so many times by average to not-so good looking chicks in my life. The decent and good-looking ones...forget it..extremely stuck up. Im not a picky guy, Im more about vibe and decent looks (lets be real here). I know its not me because when Ive visited other places, I tend to vibe with alot of people and get attention and fun from the ladies. Its really sickening because there are way better looking women with much better attitudes who exude more confidence in other places, but these chicks act like they are goddesses, very anti-social unless you are part of a stupid clique or fit a stupid stereotype, crap attitudes, and have mediocre looks. Customer and public service? the worst. Met some of the biggest a$$holes ever. Then if you defend your case or put your foot down they either call the police or security, then look @ you as if you are crazy. You push my buttons, then I defend myself and Im the one @ fault? This place is so a$$ backwards its freaking unreal. Extreme cliqueshness, the weather, politics, and rules in general are just abominable; there is little or nothing to do. Rude jerk-offs and miserable losers who want to make it as if you are beneath them. Now I know there are other crappy places in the U.S, but here is where I live and the subject @ hand. Here is wher eits probably top worst in the U.S. The few people I am cool with are moving next year, including myself. Go to other opinion websites like amplicate.com, city-data, or bestplaces and read the hate comments (60% hate rate/100%...thats sad) about this place. Same complaints. So you know these are not isolated cases. If you move here and are stuck, you will become one of them (an angry, bitter, a-hole)...a Maryland crab. Baltimore is just the rotting core of this sh1thole called Maryland. Do not come here...EVER!!!!

DG said...

I honestly enjoyed the time at Bagram, and downtown Kabul more than the time I have spent in Baltimore and surrounding areas.

Anonymous said...

Well Maryland is for certain the Devil's Workshop. I can say this because I have experienced everything this place has had to offer. I grew up in Montgomery county, went to high school in DC (spent my weekends there, have a father in Frederick, and when to two years of college in Baltimore. This place is downright evil. I have been working for 6 months, just so I can leave. I cannot stress enough how bad it is here. The weather is schizophrenic; meaning one day it will be 100 degrees, the next there will be a blizzard (mild hyperbole). The place is hideous. The sprawl is atrocious; almost impossible to escape people and traffic. Ignorant, arrogant, stubborn, and BORING people who do not listen at all. I have met wonderful people here, but I could meet wonderful people in hell, which I would like better. The food is also overpriced and its hard as hell to get decent, organic, local foods. The roads are pure shit. Its like a nightmare every time I get on the road. First off, nothing is convenient. Second, the roads were meant for 1/10 as many people. You cannot enjoy driving due to the constant threat of a speed camera, red light camera, or police officer (which are not your friends). Customer service, I dont even know what that is! Sometimes I cry because I hate this place so much. I am in the process of moving to San Francisco, never ever to return. PLEASE DO NOT COME HERE. IF YOU DO YOU WILL BE FUCKED.

Tlcoleman said...

There is charm in every city, point blank. I hate DC from the depths of my soul for all the lack of personality, overpriced living and piss poor attitudes of every single inhabitant that I have ever met there but still I can appreciate the architecture and the history. That being said, Orioles fans are die-hard and I know alot of guys who could hold extremely intelligible conversations (myself included). Did you forget we house Johns Hopkins in our little city, some of the brightest medical minds in the world? Local pizza? Michaels on Eastern Avenue in Highlandtown just east of Fells point, or I could give you fifty others if you ever want to get out of the Harbor and experience the rest of the city. In any case I could guide all day, I am a Baltimore local since birth and even though I am moving out west myself in a few years I will always hold a special place in my heart for this city, and if you are a true traveller you can always walk away with something special about each place you visit. There is so much hate in this feed, so much ignorance. Sad really.

David Ballela said...

"There is so much hate in this feed, so much ignorance. Sad really."

you're right ticoleman. I never intended this to be a forum for haters. my apologies

A.J. said...

I have lived in Baltimore for 20 years and it does suck. It's also hard to get out because when a prospective employer sees that you're from Baltimore they dump you. It is cheaper to live here, but that just ends up making you lazy, and this city is full of lazy ass people. I just applied for a job in Pittsburgh. Pray for me!

Crazy Bear said...

You forgot the number 1 reason that Baltimore sucks, and that would be, of course, the dirty Ratbirds.

Anonymous said...

Baltimore definitely sucks. I've left here like 3 or 4 times, and now am just living in regret bc I hate it so much. I am so stuck and just hope I can one day leave this God forsaken place, forever. Pray for me. I hate my life here. Lived out West & it was total culture shock. You don't know how good it is in another city until you leave. Ignorant, small minded, racist, no matter where you live in Baltimore it's like living in the ghetto mentality of people. Jesus I pray I can move from here soon, and for good. Pray for me people, please pray. everything everyone said about b-more is true. it sucks

Anonymous said...

Been in Baltimore for 12 years now. Came here from New Jersey was born in New York. Have done extensive traveling. Been to Europe, Asia, Middle East, Austrailia and several different statea in US. This is by far the worst place i have experienced. I have not made one good friend here. Everyone uses you for what they can. The white people who are middle class and up love it because they can enjoy the harbor on thier boats and have no idea what it is like to be a working person. Econimically segregated. Dirty, unorganized. Blake Rawlings is a thief so is Omalley. I can go on. Its my last year here. I am saving up and headed to Florida. Get out while you can.

Anonymous said...

I can see how people who don't have a pulse on Baltimore might think Justin was making a racist comment. It is a demographic fact that many African American families are moving to the County and many Caucasian families are moving to the City. It's actually happening quite quickly. (The socioeconomic and quality of life reasons are subjects for a different conversation.) Being well aware of this current demographic trend, Justin's comments actually did not come across as racist to me. Also, it is quite obvious that many people ended up on this site after googling "Baltimore Sucks." The author of the original post has also clearly had a strikingly limited experience in Baltimore. I will now google "I love Baltimore" for a different perspective. I do agree that Orioles fans are not the brightest baseball fans I've met. Then again, neither are Yankees fan. My intelligence is clearly justified as an Oakland Athletics fan.

Anonymous said...

I moved to the Baltimore area from California and it was the biggest culture shock of my life, in a terrible, terrible way. We live south of the city in a quiet-ish suburb so crime hasn't been that much of a concern. But, the neighbors had no interest in getting to know us or make us feel welcome. Even young couples who seemingly have something in common with us. NOTHING!! I ended up baking pies and bringing them over just to break the ice. That's right, the NEW person in the neighborhood bringing over baked goods to people who have lived there for many years. They thanked me but then all but shut the door in my face and never mentioned liking the pie or gave any feedback the next time we saw each other. Unbelievable. People are are deprived of something: love, culture, education, nutrition, happiness. Every time I left my town home in southern California I was tripping over new friends, some who became lifelong friends. There was so much optimism and openness there. Here? Negativity and suspicion. No one invites us over. No one smiles and asks how we've been. Customer service is equally as horrendous, as though you're bothering them by being in their establishment to pay and tip their staff! Run, Run RUN the other direction if you're considering anything within 50 miles of this area. There's an undertow here that I can't put my finger on entirely: addiction? crime? Sure, Johns Hopkins is a great school but why sacrifice the other parts of the college experience by living in such a deprived shithole and hostile area. Run, I tell you before you too become jaded and depressed.