Ed Deformer Sleigh Ride

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Just hear those school bells jingle-ing
Ring ting tingle-ing too
Come on, it's horrid weather
For a school ride together with you

Outside the mood is falling
And the public is calling "Boo Hoo"
Come on, it's horrid weather
For any kind of-ride together with you

Our cheeks are teared and rosied
as Dave got cozy with Mike
but we'll band together our many
forces together to strike

Let's fear the road before us
And sing a prayer or two
they protect their patent leather
as we get the royal screw from you

Who Cares

Let them complain and thunder
Let a million kids go under!
I am just concerned with
Stocks and bonds that I’ve been blessed with.
I love me and the rich love me,
And that’s how it will always be.
And nothing else could ever mean a thing
Who cares what the peons chatter
Wealth's the only thing that matters
Who cares if public schools care
To fall in the sea?
Who cares what banks fail in Yonkers,
Long as I've got the dough that conquers?
Why should I care?
Life is one long spending spree,
So long as I care for Cathie
And I care for me!

They All Laughed

They all laughed at me, Michael Bloomberg
When I said Black was edwise sound
They all laughed when I said she's chancellor bound
They all laughed at me, Michael Bloomberg
When I said that my choice would fly

They told Dave Steiner
Cathie was a phony
It's the same old cry
They laughed at me wanting her
Said I was reaching for the moon
But oh, Dave came through
Now they'll have to change their tune

They all said I never could get Cathie
They laughed at me and how!
But ho, ho, ho!
Who's got the last laugh now?

Newly Published Book: The Ed Eunuch Of New York

David Steiner's Thanksgiving Present

Thanksgiving At Mike And Diana's

They decided to stuff a pig instead of a turkey. Some of the usual ed deformer suspects in attendance along with notable Bloomberg tuchis lecher, Brooklyn BP Marty Markowitz and another versatile licker from Brooklyn, Iris Weinshall. She's the wife of Chuck Schumer and she was one of the women leaders signees of this lick worthy document

Ain't That A Kick In The Head

How unlucky can one guy be
The flunkies came kissing, but dissing it was to be
Like the fella once said,
Ain't that a kick in the head?
The stack looked completely for black
Mike hugged her but folks slugged back.
Like his yacht captain said, quote,
"Ain't that a hole in your boat?"
The people are grinning
The mayor's head must be spinning;
Let's hope this is just the beginning,
His life's not so beautiful.
No sunshine, but clouds instead
It's just like the fella said,
"Tell me quick
Ain't touting black a kick in the head?"

Fuhrman's Eye To Eye Contract Contact

 Could there be a conflict of interest?
To help make the decision on whether to grant the exception, Steiner has convened a panel to be led by Dr. Susan Fuhrman, president of Teachers College. She has received tens of millions of dollars in city Department of Education contracts, including one worth $16 million signed this year.

Across the crowded educational panel room
Through a maze of deciding people
She sits so quiet and all alone
Wanting to get the fiscal fever

And then she raised her head
Her eyes caught mine
And that was all that I needed
In her eyes I saw the need for money
The warm, soft feeling
'Cause we made

Eye to eye contract contact
Eye to eye contract contact(Oh, oh, oh yeah)
Eye to eye contract contact
(We made)Eye to eye contract contact
You and me

contract contact
You were looking at me
I was looking at you
You were looking at me

I've Got The Educational Panel On A String

I've got the Educational Panel on a string,
Got the string around their cash flow
They'll give Cathie the green light go
What a world! What a life!
I'm King Mike

I've got a song that I sing,
And I make the media echo
I give them all my ad biz
Lucky me! Can't you see
I'm King Mike

Being King is a beautiful thing
As long as I hold the string.
I tell them all where to go
As I shout Tally Ho

I've got the Educational Panel on a string,
Got the string around their cash flow
They'll give Cathie the green light go
What a world! What a life!
I'm King Mike

Cathie's Crown

Don't want your kind anymore.
And your narrow mind, that's for sure.
I die each time
I hear this sound:
"Here she co-o-o-o-omes. That's Cathie's crown."

I've gotta stand tall.
You know one can't crawl.
But when I know Mike tells lies
Then the media spins some jive
I won't play ball

Don't want your kind anymore.
And your narrow mind, that's for sure.
I die each time
I hear this sound:
"Here she co-o-o-o-omes. That's Cathie's crown."

When I see it's so clear
That our kids have much to fear
Dontcha think it's kinda sad
Your belief in the corporate fad,
Or don't you even care?

Don't want your kind anymore.
And your narrow mind, that's for sure.
I die each time
I hear this sound:
"Here she co-o-o-o-omes. That's Cathie's crown."
That's Cathie's crown.
That's Cathie's crown.

Mike's Got The Horses Right Here, Part 2

As Norm Scott does his handicapping in ednotes
It looks like the fix is in for Cathie Black to win the Chancellor's Handicap. Quoting a times' article:

New York State’s top education official on Friday named an advisory panel of eight experts, at least half of them with strong connections to the Bloomberg administration, to help him decide whether to approve Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg’s controversial choice to run the city’s school system.
    Three panelists selected by David M. Steiner, the state education commissioner, worked as senior officials at the city’s Department of Education.
    One of those three now works at a foundation that was, for many years, the vehicle for Mr. Bloomberg’s personal charitable donations.
    A fourth panelist is the head of a museum that has received almost half a million dollars from Mr. Bloomberg in donations since he took office.

Some new lyrics for two of the "horses" in this updated fugue for tinhorns Jean-Claude Brizard and Andres Alonso

NICELY
I got the horse in charge
The name is Jean-Claude Brizard
And Mike says that he'll win by yards and yards
Can do, can do, Mike says it's a winning card
If Mike says that he'll win by yards, a win by yards, a win by yards

Can do - can do - Mike says it's a winning card
If Mike says that he'll win by yards, a win by yards, a win by yards

For Jean-Claude Brizard I'll choose
Did you hear the news
To pay back his old pal Mike, how could he refuse
BENNY
I'm pickin' kid Alonso 'cause if you're in the know
You know it was under Mike he was allowed to grow
He'll go, He'll go, Mike says Alonso will go
If Mike says Alonso will go, he'll go, he'll go

I know kid Alonso, he may look big and slow
But as Mike says, he's no schmo
For a brighter future, he'll take off and blow
He'll go, He'll go, Mike says Alonso will go
If Mike says Alonso will go, he'll go, he'll go

Mike's Got The Horses Right Here

As Norm Scott does his handicapping in ednotes
It looks like the fix is in for Cathie Black to win the Chancellor's Handicap. Quoting a times' article:

New York State’s top education official on Friday named an advisory panel of eight experts, at least half of them with strong connections to the Bloomberg administration, to help him decide whether to approve Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg’s controversial choice to run the city’s school system.
    Three panelists selected by David M. Steiner, the state education commissioner, worked as senior officials at the city’s Department of Education.
    One of those three now works at a foundation that was, for many years, the vehicle for Mr. Bloomberg’s personal charitable donations.
    A fourth panelist is the head of a museum that has received almost half a million dollars from Mr. Bloomberg in donations since he took office.

Some new lyrics for two of the "horses" in this updated fugue for tinhorns Cahill and Mirrer:

NICELY
I got the horse right here
Her name is Louise Mirrer(e)
And Mike's a guy that says if the weather's clear
Can do, can do, Mike says the horse can do
If he says the horse can do, can do, can do.

Can do, can do, Mike says the horse can do
If he says the horse can do, can do, can do.

For Louise Mirrer(e) sure knows
If she wants her museum to grow
It may depend if Mike sends her dough

BENNY
I'm pickin' Michelle Cahill 'cause even if her looks can kill
Mike says she fills the bill
She will, She will, Mike says says the horse sure will
if Mike says the horse sure will,  sure will,  sure will

I know it's Michelle Cahill, cause even if her looks can kill
Besides Mike says, he'll pay her Carnegie bills
Mike says as long her weight won't cause a spill
She will, She will, Mike says says the horse sure will
if Mike says the horse sure will,  sure will,  sure will
Michelle Cahill she will, she will

Get Black, Get Back

Cathy was a gal who was a barricuda
she longed to charterize education's ass
mikey left his home in HAMILTON, Bermuda
to stage his new york city crass

Get black, get back.
Get black to where she once belonged
Get black, get back.
Get black to where she once belonged
Get back Cathy Go home
Get black, get back.
Get black to where she once belonged
Get black, get back.
Get black to where she once belonged
Get back Cat

the naive nyc folk believe she's wonder woman
But she's just following mike's plan
All of mike's stooges are available for performing
so they can get from him what they can

Get black, get back.
Get black to where she once belonged
Get black, get back.
Get black to where she once belonged
Get back Cathy Go home
Get black, get back.
Get black to where she once belonged
Get black, get back.
Get black to where she once belonged
Get back Cat

Your servants are waiting for you
holding your limo doors stat
And your stetson hat
Get on home Cat

Cathie Black Is White

I Took My Cathie
To a job I arranged
Boy Is That Girl With You
Yes We're One And The Same

Now I don't Believe In Miracles
Since I create miracles
With my dough as my might

But, If
You're Thinkin'
About My Cathie
Though she may be Black
She is really very, very white

They Print My Message
In The Times and the Sun
I Had To Tell Them
I Ain't Second To None

I don't hold to Equality
You know it's Not True
Even if I'm Wrong
I'm Still Very Right

But, If
You're Thinkin'
About My Cathie
Though she may be Black
She is really very, very white

Sisters, Sisters

Mayor Bloomberg's pick for new schools chancellor got the heavy-weight endorsement of Oprah Winfrey last night - the same day he asked the state to approve his pick.
The talk show host's support is a sign of how hard City Hall is pushing back against Cathie Black's critics. Gayle King also showed support on her site.

Sisters, sisters
There were never such devoted sisters,
But never, ever say we're more, no sir,
I'm there to keep my eye on her
Caring, Sharing
Though our dishonesty at times is glaring
When a certain gentleman named Mike would call
He's even richer than us so we played ball
All kinds of weather, we stick together
The same in the rain and sun
Two different faces as well as two-faced
We think and we act as one
Those who've seen us
Know that not a thing could come between us
Many men have tried to split us up, but no one can
Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sister
Cause there's no mister, since I don't need a man

Defective Hard Drive

I'm pretty certain that the voice heard above is of Steven Thrasher, the same Village Voice reporter who wrote this hatchet job about the opposition to Cathie Black, an excerpt...

Have you noticed that it's the same five or six people protesting Cathie Black's appointment as Chancellor of Schools the past couple of weeks? No? That's probably because her opposition has been hyped to seem like it's made of far more people than it is.

Cathie Black's In Town

Gotta get my old tuxedo pressed,
Gotta sew a button on my vest,
'Cause tonight I've gotta look my best,
Cathie Black's in town.
Gotta get her a great job somewhere,
Gotta sell the news with lots of flair
Gotta get myself a boutonniere,
Cathie Black's in town.
You can tell all my politician pets,
They're just sycophantic coquettes;
The hell with parent regrets
They won't be aroun'.
You can tell Steiner not to call,
It's a done deal after all
The DOE's in for one big fall
Cathie Black's in town.

Whoopi Gives Cathie Fashion Advice

Choo Choo Boogie: Headin' Education With A Quack Named Black?

Headin' education with a quack named black?
We're tired of leaders in education with no kind of track
We'd love to hear the rhythm of a swift kick in the back
and hear Steiner's decision that will blow Bloomberg's stack
along with support from democratic fellows named Ba-rack
givin little Mikey a lot of flack Jack.

Choo choo, choo choo, ch'boogie
woo woo, woo woo, ch'boogie
choo choo, choo choo, ch'boogie
givin little Mikey a lot of flack Jack.

You reach your destination finally as joel gets the sack
you need some compensation for all that he has cracked
you take a morning paper from the top of the stack
and read the situations from the front to the back
the education job that's open needs a chick named Black?
no, no put it right back in the rack Jack.

Choo choo, choo choo, ch'boogie
woo woo, woo woo, ch'boogie
choo choo, choo choo, ch'boogie
givin little Mikey a lot of flack Jack

Calling Brooklyn BP Tuchis Lecher, Calling Brooklyn BP Tuchis Lecher

a little over a year to the date of the event above, little Marty is still on the job

"Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz has also chimed into the debate, asking New Yorkers to give Black a chance. He released a statement saying he spoke with her on the phone and was impressed with her enthusiasm for the job." (From a WNYC report today)

from nyc education news

Remarkable -- Brooklyn BP Marty Markowitz believes Cathie Black is qualified to lead the NYC public school system because she's enthusiastic about the job, as judged by a telephone conversation with her. Not that's what we calling vetting a candidate! 
Enthusiastic? Well, that should certainly be good enough for the parents of 1.1 million children What a crock, and how spineless can you be?

Hit The Road Black

Maybe State ED commissioner, David Steiner, will find the cojones to block Black's
appointment

(Hit the road Black and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road black and don't you come back no more.)
What you say?
(Hit the road black and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road black and don't you come back no more.)

Woah Woman, oh woman, it's truly obscene,
That publishing seventeen makes you Ed Queen.
I guess if King Mike says so
The city must accept that it's the way things go. (That's wrong)

(Hit the road Black and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Black and don't you come back no more.)
What you say?
(Hit the road Black and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Black and don't you come back no more.)

Now Cathie listen baby, don't ya treat us this-a way
Cause the people will be back on our feet some day.
(Don't care if we do 'cause it's understood)
(Cause you got lots of money you think you're good )
Well, we guess if the State Ed says so
You'll have to pack your things and go. (That's right)

(Hit the road Black and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Black and don't you come back no more.)
What you say?
(Hit the road Black and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Black and don't you come back no more.)

Santa's Ed Deformer Helpers

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

One can only imagine what kind of workshop hanky panky that takes place after hours?

"Cathie Black’s most persuasive credentials for the schools job seem to be a friendship with the mayor’s girlfriend, Diana Taylor, and membership in the same Upper East Side social orbit as Ms. Taylor and Bloomberg. Black’s husband, Thomas E. Harvey, is a significant contributor to Republican causes, including Senator John McCain’s 2008 presidential race and the Republican National Committee. The couple has, like Ms. Taylor and the mayor, spent leisurely days at the Allen & Company’s annual gathering in Sun Valley, Idaho, the summer retreat for the super-rich that few regular folk know much about because the media are banned. “He didn’t go outside when he chose Cathie Black, he went inside,’’ said a Bloomberg friend and supporter, unhappy with the new schools chief. “It’s him and Diana, Cathie and Tom.”

What Do The Simple Folk Do?

Tom Harvey, Cathie Black's husband, is helping tutor Cathie on the subtleties of public education in New York City. Really, as Lancelot, he's just channeling what King Arthur/Mike is passing on.
view a slice of their world
GUENEVERE/Cathie
What do public education folk do?
To be so unaware that we're applying the screws?
The child who is failing, the parent who is glum
The teacher who is wailing while under the thumb
When they're beset and besieged
The folk not noblessly obliged
However do they manage to shed their weary lot?
Oh, what do simple folk do we do not?

ARTHUR via LANCELOT /Tom
I have been informed by those who know them well
They find relief through our clever ways
When they're sorely pressed, the lying media's there at our behest
To redirect their anger and that seems to brighten up their day
And that's what simple folk do
So they say

Charlie Brown, That Evil Clown, Aka Cathy Black

Fe-fe, fi-fi, fo-fo, fum
I smell smoke from the chancellor's podium
Cathy Black Cathy Black
She's a hack, that Cathy Black
She's never ever, ever taught
Just you wait and see
She's out to destroy the D-O-E

Down on their knees
Her eyes on the prize
Bringing public employees
To the world of the privatized

Cathy Black Cathy Black
She's a hack, that Cathy Black
She's never ever, ever taught
Just you wait and see
She's out to destroy the D-O-E

Who's always dressing for the ball
Who's never viewed students in the hall
Who has the nerve to think she knows it all
For you, not her, For charter, that's who

Who walks in a classroom, cool and slow
Who says to the teacher, we'll have to let you go

Cathy Black Cathy Black
She's a hack, that Cathy Black
She's never ever, ever taught
Just you wait and see
She's out to destroy the D-O-E

Cathleen Black: Memo 1

great piece by Bob Morris from the nyobserver on Cathleen Black's first memo to her staff
Memo
    To: Staff
    From: Cathleen Black
    Re: The New Schools for Spring 2011
    To set the tone of the new administration and make things fresh, accessible and modern,effective immediately I am instituting these changes in New York City schools:
    -We will now refer to semesters as seasons
    -All school uniforms in black
    -Basketball uniforms in natural fibers
    -Winter break will be called resort
    -Morning announcements will include pronouncements
    -Fashion monthlies to be used for all lesson plans
        *  spelling (K-a-r-d-a-s-h-i-a-n)
        *  geography (Jersey Shore, Milan, Mustique, Sundance, Cannes)
        *  history (Gianni Versace)
        *  chemistry (scent strips)
        *  mathematics (ad page counts and base rates)
        *  geometry (hemlines)
        *  spatial relations (front row seating charts)
    -Summer school is suspended until after couture
    -Historical school names to be replaced with local fashion designers (except Halston)
    -Report cards reformatted as reviews for Ipads
    -Test times pushed back to 10 am (real start time 10:30)
    -Gym classes to include social climbing
    -Exchange programs to include Top Shop and Uniqlo
    -Removal of all asbestos and carbs from school buildings
    I am excited to be here (although I still miss the subsidized sushi at the Hearst cafeteria) and hope to look over your shoes and your test scores in the near future.
    Xxo
    Cathie

Scrooged New York Ed

On the first day of Christmas Mike Bloomberg gave to me
A school chancellor with no educational pedigree..

Sometime In The Future

Walking My Baby Back Home

as the expression goes for Murdoch and Klein above,
"You can tell when they're lying because their lips move"

Diane Ravitch Kicks Superman's Butt

Her article on Waiting For Superman in the NY Review Of Books