Mr. Clean

Eduwonkette dispels the squeaky Mr. Clean image of New York's Chancellor

Everyone loves equity - the US Department of Education, the New York City Department of Education, insert your hometown Department of Education here. If you've got a shaky initiative in mind, best to back it up with the equity line.
Certainly that's the strategy Joel Klein has used in New York City. Want to change the admissions process for gifted and talented programs? It's about equity! (Even when doing so shuts out poor kids.) Want to close down comprehensive high schools? It's about equity! (Even if the most disadvantaged kids can't access those new small schools.) Want to use dollars that the state legislature specifically earmarked for the most disadvantaged kids to plug holes in a budget you cut yourself? It's about equity! (Even if the number of central employees has increased by 18% since 2004 - a jobs program for the Ivy League.)

The original lyrics

Mr. Clean gets rid of dirt and grime
And grease in just minute
Mr. Clean will clean your whole house
And everything that's in it
Floors, doors, walls, halls
White sidewall tires and old golf balls
Sinks, stoves, bathtubs he'll do
He'll even help clean laundry too
Mr. Clean gets rid of dirt and grime
And grease in just minute
Mr. Clean will clean your whole house
And everything that's in it
Can he clean a kitchen sink?
Faster than a wink!
Can he clean a window sash?
Faster than a flash!
Can he clean a dirty mirror?
He'll make it bright and clearer
Can he clean a diamond ring?
Mr. Clean cleans anything!
Mr. Clean gets rid of dirt and grime
And grease in just minute
Mr. Clean will clean your whole house
And everything that's in it
Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean

My abbreviated eduwonkette inspired version

Mr. Clean gets rid of gifted and talented programs, using equity in just a minute
Mr. Clean will clean your whole school system
And everything that's in it
Comprehensive high schools, music and arts
Science, history and special ed, all parts
He provides classrooms with teachers too few
But for tweed there's lots of brand new