There Ain't No Sanity Claus

But how about this wacky clause on how school grading is arrived at

Now here are the contracts.

You just put his name at the top,
and you sign at the bottom.

No need of you reading that
because these are duplicates.

Yeah. Is a duplicate.

- Duplicates?
- I say, they're duplicates.

- Don't you know what duplicates are?
- Sure, those five kids up in Canada.

I wouldn't know about that.
I haven't been in Canada in years.

Go ahead and read it.

- What does it say?
- Go on and read it.

- You read it.
- All right, I'll read it to you.

- Can you hear?
- I haven't heard anything yet.

- You say anything?
- I haven't said anything worth hearing.

That's why I didn't hear anything.

That's why I didn't say anything.

- Can you read?
- I can read, but I can't see it.

Don't seem to have it in focus here.
If my arms were a little longer,
I could read it.
You haven't got a baboon
in your pocket, have you?

Here we are. Now I've got it.
Pay particular attention to this first clause
because it's most important.

It says, "The party of the first part
shall be known in this contract...

"as the party of the first part."

How do you like that?
That's pretty neat, eh?

No, it's no good.

- What's the matter with it?
- I don't know. Let's hear it again.

"The party of the first part
shall be known in this contract...

"as the party of the first part."

Sounds a little better this time.

It grows on you.
Would you like to hear it once more?

Just the first part.

What? "The party of the first part"?

No. The first part
of "the party of the first part."

It says, "The first part
of the party of the first part...

"shall be known in this contract
as the first part of the party...

"Shall be known in this contract..."

Why should we quarrel about this?
We'll take it out.

Yeah. It's too long anyhow.

Now what do we got left?

I got about a foot and a half.


It says, "The party of the second part
shall be known in this contract...

"as the party of the second part."

I don't know about that.

- Now what's the matter?
- I don't like the second party either.

You should have come to the first party.
We didn't get home till around : a.m.

I was blind for three days.

Why can't the first part
of the second party...

be the second part of the first party?
Then you got something.

Look, rather than go through that again,
what do you say...

Fine.

I've got something you're bound to like.
You'll be crazy about it.

No. I don't like it.

- You don't like what?
- Whatever it is, I don't like it.

Don't let's break up an old friendship
over a thing like that. Ready?

Okay.

The next part,
I don't think you're going to like.

Your word's good enough for me.
Is my word good enough for you?

- I should say not.
- That takes out two more clauses.

- "The party of the eighth part..."
- No, that's no good.

- "The party of the ninth..."
- No, that's no good, too.

How is it my contract
is skinnier than yours?

I don't know, you must have been out
on a tear last night.

- We're all set now, aren't we?
- Sure.

Just you put your name down there,
and then the deal is legal.

I forgot to tell you, I can't write.

That's all right, there's no ink in the pen.

- But it's a contract, isn't it?
- Sure.

We've got a contract,
no matter how small it is.

Wait. What does this say here?

That? That's the usual clause.
That's in every contract.

That just says, "If any of the parties...

"participating in this contract...

"are shown not to be in their right mind...

"the entire agreement
is automatically nullified."

I don't know.

It's all right. That's in every contract.

That's what they call a sanity clause.

You can't fool me.
There ain't no Sanity Claus.