If Joba Had A Brain

I could while away past-life hours, conferrin' with hank bauer
Consultin' with johnny sain
And my balls I'd be scratchin' while
I avoid all trim for snatchin
If I only had a brain.
I'd strike out every batter their talent wouldn't matter
My stuff would be insane
With the thoughts you'll be thinkin'
He's no longer that hick from Lincoln
If I only had a brain.
Oh, I could convince you why sterlings not a boor
And make up many reasons you'd want to hear him more
While I develop new pitches to explore
I would not be just son of Harlan who fist pumps like a moron
My pitch choice not inane
I would dance and be merry, my delivery smooth as perry
If I only had a brain.